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Satire

In a galaxy far far away..

NSIT- Where reputation precedes the name.

The pious name echoed in my mind. A name that would induce frenzy to a person whose auditory organs are working only remotely well. Enough of extensive introductions (well merited though), here I present the world NSIT- the prestigious engineering college that religiously tops both the survey of top engineering colleges (conducted by TIME magazine) and the most popular college (conducted by MTv).

The above lines aptly justify my over-hyped and itching agitation that assembled in my emaciated body on that day. The day when my rosy dreams culminated to an astounding miracle- visiting NSIT’s sprawling campus. A worthy and neurologically superior friend of mine went to this hub of immense knowledge after cracking NSIT-EEE. She had decided to gift me a share of this mammoth college by taking me to her technical-fest.

The moment we set foot on the rambling grounds, the air seemed different. We boarded the upgraded solar rickshaw designed by a 3rd year student of EC branch. It was unmanned and the destination was fed by default. Such a machine served the task of orbiting in the campus without the risk of getting arthritis. The campus was wifi enabled but with a difference. A movie could be downloaded in 2.563 seconds. Afterall CERN had itself presided the installation. The unmanned rickshaw turned. Aand my breath stopped. I had a glimpse of the administration section. It seemed like a breeding ground of robots running helter skelter to complete the chores. The famed admin area boasted of 45 robots (human sized), 5 supercomputers and innumerable miniature robots. The task of delivering perfection was mastered by the admin people and admin robots. The sincerity and honesty was in complete contrast to the bureaucracy that plagued other government bodies. The college was festooned in gigantic banners that had voluntarily offered sponsorship. About 99.67% were turned down as they didn’t figure in the list of Forbes 100. With great reputation, comes great responsibility.

The technical fest doubled as placement fair as well as an exhibition that proclaimed extreme engineering. The chances of finding a nobel holder strolling in these very grounds wasn’t at all surprising. I scanned the battleground adorned by technological advancements and absorbed the surrounding. However I couldn’t spot any of the regular non-technical company that shipped hundreds from our 45th ranked college sans an auditorium unlike NSIT. When i voiced my astonishment, a scream of horror mingled with disgust emerged from my friend. She sneered at the thought of FMCG majors hiring from their college. ”We are not here to sell soaps, we are engineers not petty salesperson”, she grunted as if I had battered her pride. To prevent further outburst, I pointed out to an auction that took place a few steps away. She waved it as a usual auction where the tech bigwigs engaged in a combat to procure the latest invention by NSITians. And the price-“just a couple million dollars with a black jaguar free”, she casually said ignoring my conspicuous jaw dropping.

I had a surreal feeling with ubiquitous engineering marvel staring at me. The Vera Wang and Prada clad crowd with their perfect DNA sequence and higher in evolution ladder made little effort to make me feel comfortable and sane.Suddenly a homo sapien radiating uncanny intelligence passed by. While my friend greeted without a muffle in her speech, I had a verbal paralysis. She had won 5 nobel in different fields. The friend offered an explanation-“My teacher”. I suddenly remembered all those fabled tales where there were no theory subjects and a project to be submitted every fortnight.

In order to dismiss my uneasiness and frequent bouts of exclamations, I asked my friend to take me to someplace with fresh air. She took me to the football field as the rest of the 17 fields had been loaned for practice of London Olympics. My entire eyeball could not accommodate such expansiveness. Then she uttered which had me go kaput-“You know what FA cup finals would be held here….. though I doubt Chelsea will make it, Arsenal has lost it while ManCity looks promising…. blah blah
DISCLAIMER:
1. All these events occurred while the writer was in semi-conscious, drunk, belittled state.
2. The writer has personal grudge against the incompetent Chelsea team though she finds
Michael Ballack visually appealing in spite of his inept shooting skills!
So all those Chelsea fanatics, pray (as if it would work *winks*)

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