By Allwin Tom, Batch of 2016
Agonies aplenty? Deterred by your dubiousness? Caught in the fresher’s-fright or the ‘final-year repentances’ (or lost anywhere in between)? Need ‘surviving NSIT’/relationship/life/universe/existential advice?
Here comes your personal problem solver (that’s any engineer’s expertise and we promise to create a problem if there isn’t any), your confidant ( we promise to not leak your identity beyond the thousands following us on various social networking sites), your friend in need (depends on the lavishness of the after-deed-treat), your CAMPUS COUNSELOR (not-your-typical agony aunt. Please don’t mainstream us!) Here are the profound yet statistically proven (using some skewed data; not for public scrutiny), the best answers to some selected questions asked by our NSITians-
Problem: Dear CAMPUS COUNSELOR (CC)
I have been in the college for over a year now. I still tend to get lost in the campus on my solo ramblings. I usually shun my phone and all worldly connections on these wander-thons. I have missed attendance (and subsequently skipped the class, of course) in many a classes and sometimes find myself lost till late and begging to the boys’ hostel guard for a one-night-shelter. Is there any way out?
CC: Dear Lost-and-Wandering-Soul
We understand that life can get tough in an engineering college. We also understand that engineering can be tough on life (understand the essential difference between the two sentences. It’s not a circumlocution of the same thought as done in the Manufacturing Processes’ paper). Also, you must go slow on your reading of the Lord of The Rings, for believe me, Tolkien never knew NSIT when he wrote “Not all those who wander are lost”. You must find other escapades (if self is what you love the most) near the main campus buildings. If however adventure and rattle-snakes is what you seek, wander on with the GPS on or a bag full of breadcrumbs to leave a trail behind. Else, build yourself a tracker. Lo! You have a project topic and a prospective ‘CV jewel’ there!
Problem: Dear CC
I am short of attendance and in a real fix since the nearest fake-medicals’-shop got blacklisted. I need a quick-fix.
CC: Dear Not-so-up-to-date-person
It’s a secret (else the ‘not to be disclosed’ location too gets blacklisted). Our officials in the hostel will guide you through your problem. Just keep some ready cash for the ‘tera medical banwaa diya’ treat afterwards. See you there!
Problem: Dear CC
Mid-semesters are on their way and I can’t break-up with my hard disk drive. I’ve tried, yet it never works. I can hardly survive a day. Help please?
CC: Dear Average-Hosteller-Kid
Life is an exam. You fail or pass in one, it is insignificant (though here it’ll haunt you by coming ‘back’…with vengeance). So many will come and so many will go,but never is a person remembered by the exams he aces. Life is meant to be enjoyed, lived and spent staring at your laptop screen gorging on all the sitcoms, movies, drama series that come your way. At least when you’ll fail, you’ll have the F.R.I.E.N.D.S.’ first verse playing in your mind or a comfort that Mike Ross was hired when a college drop-out or that even a teacher like Walter White ended up embroiled in the meth ‘business’.I hope that’s some consolation. You know someone played your ‘moments’ on screen.
(From my pragmatic alter-ego)- It’s a parasitic relationship. Your partner is eating out your soul and sanity. You need to give it a break. Call it off. For a month atleast. Worst case scenario, borrow your friend’s hard disk for a quick episode of GOT or F.R.I.E.N.D.S , and you can always tell yours, “we were on a break”.
Problem: Dear CC
M.D. and E.D. sheets…. What’s the point of it all? Don’t we have computers doing it perfect these days?
CC: Dear Deep-thinker
Your question is rooted in the deep philosophical realms of engineering education. You must realize that whatever you study will have bearing and loads of importance in the future (this life or any of the seven to come). Also, having endured toughies like these, you become an on-demand consultant senior to the coming batches. That’s how the senior-guru cycle stays in motion. Also, these courses aim to teach us that suffering is universal and an all-nighter camaraderie over ED/MD sheets forge the best of friendships. Now ensure that your lateral view has perfect lines and beware the projections!
Problem: Dear CC
How does one handle ‘NSIT, IP ka hai beta?’ questions? It’s been 2 years here, yet neighbors go about throwing such statements!
CC: Dear Not-the-Dwarka-Vaale
Look.Give them the death stare. Walk away.
1 question, 3 steps, simplest solution.
However, in case the situation demands you to be courteous (by the conventional meaning of the word), you can start off by quoting the first page of the prospectus or the entire wiki search result of NSIT. It’s like a mantra you can learn. And believe me, by the end of the 4 years, you will be able to rant off about NSIT in sleep.
Feel free to share your problems with us. We will be glad to throw some light of them; else, if it instead throws us off, we will be glad to confuse you further.
Your forever faithless friend